


There’s no need to save me from you

by dieinthewinter



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, BFF!Niall, Daddy!Zayn, Kid Fic, M/M, Teen Pregnancy, Uncle!Louis, alternative universe, firefighter!Liam, mentions of bullying, uncle!harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-11
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 08:14:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/963648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dieinthewinter/pseuds/dieinthewinter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn’s son was a great kid.</p><p>Too shy and quiet for a 9-year-old and maybe it was a little weird that his best friends were the guys Zayn had known since high school and then ended up living in a house with, but really, Tony was an incredible little person.</p><p>When Louis failed to raise Tony’s interest in football, Niall gave up on teaching him how to play the guitar and Harry couldn’t keep up with finding new books for his god-son, Zayn started to develop that the kid grew still with awe when he heard the siren of a fire truck in the distance.</p><p>He decided to do something about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And we run and run. Until we stop (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> All of this is fictional and does in no way relate to any of the One Direction boys. I just happened to adopbt names, looks, personal relations (friends and family), personalities and interests.
> 
> As for the firestation situation in the plot: The story is set in North England, but seeing as I am german and used to be a youth fire fighter, I used all the standards and knowledge that's typical for young volunteers in german fire stations.
> 
> I'm not a native speaker and still looking for a beta, so please be patient with me or send me a note if you're willing to help me out.
> 
> Also, there's no updating schedule. I'll post as soon as something is ready to go online, but feel to motivate me a lot and push me a little!

He was tired of this. Coming home with a scent of Italian food lingering on his clothes before the clock in the hallway could even turn 11pm. 

Shrugging off his best leather jacket, damp from the sweat he had worked himself up to when he sprinted to get the early bus home, he sighed in an exaggerated manner. Zayn felt a lot older than he actually was, the post-haze of another failed date weighing down on his shoulders. 

Maybe it was about time he admitted to himself things just didn’t work like this and that he should put his focus on more important stuff. Like muffled cursing sounds coming from the kitchen close by. 

Zayn poked his head through the half open door, spotting a busy form - referred to as Louis on most days – rummaging around to fix what looked like a bunch of chicken wraps with a shitload of sweet corn. Eyes stinging from the long day he had, he took in the domestic style his friend was sporting and couldn’t stop the feeling of comfort and security spreading throughout his belly. Hazel hair stuck out to all possible directions and a content smile played around pink lips, signalizing Zayn that his homebound boys definitely had a better time staying in than he had done going out.

For a minute he considerd sneaking away before he could be recognized and hiding in his bedroom so he could pretend he got in much later than that. To prevent himself from disappointing his matchmaking friends yet again. But that would’ve been lying. To Louis and Harry who were two thirds of the little family he was so unbelievably grateful to have.

With a step further into the room he cleared his throat, own voice softening in his ears. 

Louis’ head shot up at that, shoulders rising in shock. Apparently he wasn't expecting to be interrupted, but it only took him a second to locate Zayn's face in the semi-dark and make a connection to it. Blue eyes found the brown of Zayn's and a knowing look ran over the older man's face.

"I said I expect you for breakfast, not late night snack!" Louis sighed, put the bread knife down and nodded his friend to him, patting the wood next to hip. 

Dreadful and on the edge of pitying himself just a tiny bit, he made his way over and leaned against Louis’ welcoming side, relieved to have a familiar and supporting arm around him. Louis nuzzled his face against his temple, pressing a kiss to the short cut roots of his black hair before he pulled back just enough to say a few things.

“Did my intention betray me again?” Louis asked quietly, knowing that with Zayn, there had to be clean talking first, getting it out of the way, before he could use his winning charm and cheer him up in the matter of minutes.

“It wasn’t that”, he answered, brows furrowing in concentration, trying to build a picture in his head. An imagine sharp enough to make Louis see that his date wasn’t bad at all. Until… well, until it did turn bad.

“He’s definitely a charmer and a very interesting guy, paid for the meal and all. Did you know he makes a lot of money? Like, a whole fucking lot?”

Louis was a drama teacher at an university. He also earned his money as a casting director for a movie company. A great side effect of working in a position like that was knowing a majority of the gay men in their city, which provided Zayn with various dates every so often. Potential boyfriends, to be frank. But if the two of them kept the cupid mission up in that pace, they’d run out of male relationship material in less than three months from then.  


“He’s one of our best actors, I would have been surprised if he didn’t” Familiar smugness pulled on Louis’ lips as he tried to play it cool. Zayn was aware that the older one would have figured it all out before he set up the rendezvous for the two of them. When it came to Louis there was no such thing as coincidences.

“So, when did it start to go downhill? The typical shit?”

Zayn knew where this was leading, but there was no way around it. “He was totally on board with me having a kid. What he couldn’t handle was the fact that I was a teenager when Tony was born. Said he didn’t want to be with someone in fear of loosing them just because they thought they missed something in life” he explained calmly, choosing his words carefully as to not throw any guilt or shade on his son.  
Nothing of this was Tony’s fault, never was and never would be.

Louis jumped up from his leaning position, body posture stiff and anger rising in his ribcage. “What a fucking prick! What the hell is even on about?”  
Zayn didn’t know and he also wanted to stop talking about his disappointment of a date as soon as possible, so all he gave his friend was a simple shake to the head. 

Paddling over to the fridge and earning a hair ruffle of the way, he grabbed a beer from inside before finding a printed note sitting on the working counter. 

“Oh, yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that”, Louis interfered before he could even try to read what it said, though he got a bit of an idea when he saw the doodle of a fire car decorating the top right corner. 

“I did my research, as you requested”, he started out, hopping on the wooden surface so he was close to Zayn again and could point out several things on the simple brochure. 

“There’s this fire station about 20 minutes from here which – obviously – is made up of one part fulltime firemen – and women – and one part volunteers.” That was definitely new to Zayn, as he always stood under the impression that working as a fire fighter required a complicated education.

“And they offer a kids and youth program, beginning at the age of 8!” The shorter of the two looked proud in that moment. Cheerful about achieving to find such an useful information. That was exactly what they had been hoping and looking for.

Right before Zayn could fish for more information on the sheet, Louis went on with his explanation, obviously already hooked on the idea.

“Apparently there’s this fulltime guy who started the youth group a year ago as a project of his own interest. The kids learn the basics of being a fire fighter. Theoretical and practical stuff. They're taught about the technical stuff, the chemicals which make up a fire, devices, utilities and practically everything you can find in a fire station or a fire truck.” It all sounded like exactly what Tony had lost his heart to so recently and Louis hadn’t even caught a proper breathe. “They’ll do practical exercises. Fake fires and how to put them out correctly. The kids participate in first aid courses and learn how to behave in accidents. How to properly save people.”

It was so easy picturing his son in that environment. Shiny brown eyes when he told his dad and his uncles about what they learned in practice and the shaky excitement after he'd be allowed to use a fire hose for the very first time. Yes, he wanted this. For Tony. Whatever it would take to get him in there.

“He’d even get his own set of each a formal and a practical uniform. And it’s completely free except for a very, very small fee to use the necessary property!”, Louis finished his monologue and that’s what set Zayn off completely, jumping up to pull Louis from the countertop and into his arms.

The embrace was tight and heartfelt, trying to express all the words that got caught in his closed up throat. He didn’t know how to tell his best friend what he felt in that moment. How happy he had made him by sitting down and browsing the internet for all this information.

Small hands splayed across the small of his lower back, digging in a little in a comforting and understanding manner. Louis knew.

*

Later, when he had Tony curled up in his arms, buried under millions of blankets and bedded on plenty pillows on Harry’s and Louis giant couch in the second story of their lovely house, he thought about the guy they’d meet next week. The man who might give his child a chance to finally develop a thick layer, a skin he’d feel comfortable in.

From what Louis had found out, he wasn’t even paid for the job. Did it all for the sake of the kids and providing the station with promising new talents to fill the gaps in the group of fire workers at some point in the future.

Must have been a saint, this Liam Payne.


	2. One step ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the head of a row of few tables, surrounded by a bunch of kids – most of them visibly older than Tony – stood a guy about as tall as him, but shoulders way broader than his own. He wore a white plain shirt, sleeves rolled up to expose massive and well-toned upper-arms, the rest of his body covered by blue uniform pants with suspenders hugging his collar bones. Feet tucked into heavy looking black safety boots.
> 
> Scruff of facial hair lead up to a surprisingly handsome face and Zayn wasn’t sure he could really tell from the distance, but his eyes looked about the same colour as Tony’s. They disappeared though, when he laughed over something one of the kids said, forming to tight slits and exposing bright, white teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you for reading the prologue, giving kudos, bookmarking and that lovely comment I got! I gave my best on this chapter and if you can spare a secong, please let me know what your thoughts are.

Harry Styles was a good friend. Had been to Zayn for the past 15 years and they were still going strong. He was a kind soul, great with kids, a genius when it came to cooking and cleaning and a generally good person.

He was also a nosy wanker.

They had left the club a minute ago, making their way to Zayn's car at a remotely reasonable time to leave a party. A business thing thrown by the label both Harry and Zayn worked for. It's not like he was into going out a lot - with Tony being in the picture since he had barely turned 17 - but he also hadn't had a choice this time.

"Malik, Malik, Malik" Harry sighed, a wicked grin dripping from his voice as he slipped into mocking mode. Zayn could feel the blush growing high on his cheekbones. "I didn't take you for the 'quickie on the loo' type of guy, to be honest." A huff left Zayn’s slightly swollen lips, the fingers of one hand pulling on his zipper while the knuckles of the other turned white around the material he was tugging on. “That’s because-“, he gritted out between clenched teeth “-I’m not!”, he tried to emphasize but came off more as a stubborn toddler when he let his arms fall down to his sides and shoulders slump.

His eyes focused on a dark spot next to Harry’s head, purposely avoiding a knowing shade of calm green so different from the teasing expression on the younger boy’s face. It took Harry five seconds to free his black button down from the zip of his leather pants. Dressing up properly after almost getting caught shagging an intern in the staff toilet was definitely the last thing on his mind as he had hurried to find his companion to get the hell out of the place.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what your appearance is giving away right now”, his friend answered with a raised brow and a questioning look that perfectly mirrored that of his gorgeous boyfriend, except Louis managed to make it come over as sassy while for Harry it was a simply adorable expression. Zayn’s pants were zipped up properly, his shirt tucked into them in a stylish manner, collar sorted out and hair ruffled into an acceptable fashion when warm hands curled around his shoulders and he finally managed to look his friend in the eye, finding an underlying concern.

He wasn’t sure if he needed to explain himself or not, but decided that he would do so anyway. “It’s just… sometimes I feel like I need to do something reckless. Just fuck it out of my system, you know?”, he ranted, his words rusty and thin, layered with the exhaustion from three weeks of working hours on end. “I really want to be a grown-up and someone Tony can look up to. I want to have a partner to turn to and offer him as a constant thing, you know? But then there are these moments where I just snap and take what I want to have without thinking any further than the next morning – “ “- and you should, babe!”, Harry broke his string of vocalized thoughts.

He pushed at his frame in a bit of a shaking manner, before Harry’s hands entwined behind his neck, pulling him forward a bit so that their foreheads knocked together and Zayn could close his eyes. This was familiar. And comfortable and good.

Their breaths mixed a little as he felt himself mirror Harry’s small smile. “You should live and fuck and fool around and mess up. You should show yourself off cause you are gorgeous and breath-taking and beautiful, you hear me? Give the world a chance to see and appreciate and admire you. Tony does already. You’re his hero, Zayn!”, he claimed and brought a bit of distance between their faces as a shiver ran down Zayn’s back and simultaneously crawled into his fingers.

Cool tips found his cheek and nudge it gently. “And you’ll fall in love and be head over heals eventually, ok?”, the dimples before him asked and he felt so much lighter all of a sudden, his chest opening back up to a relieving breath. He nodded, pressing his dry lips together, because yeah, ok, he could believe that. For a while at least.

*

“Daddy? Wake up”

Rolling over, pressing a pillow to his face. Yeah, that seemed like a good idea.  
“Five more minutes”, he begged with a whimper and forced his eyelids together. A bright, young laugh filled his single bedroom, a little too loud but pleasantly heart-warming and Zayn heard some sort of thud close to his eyes.

Did his nostrils smell scrambled eggs and coffee? And orange juice and warm croissants?

“You’ll miss school if I let you sleep longer, Zayn Malik!”, the youngster replied with pretended strictness in his voice but failed terribly at hiding how cheerful he really was. And that’s what made the addressed wobble around on his bed to face his son with smile as bright as the sun peeking in between the curtains that Tony aimed to open a second later.

It was still all too bright and loud and early, but the rosy cheeks of this child made it all go away in seconds.

Before Zayn could throw any questions in the room, the boy jumped on his oversized bed, the red paint of the head wall reflecting in his crispy white shirt with the ‘POW!’ front print clinging to the soft material. He was delighted to see that Tony was fully dressed already and smelling like mint tooth paste and shampoo. Snuggling into Zayn’s side as much as he could with the comfy duvet bunching up between them, Tony spread his limbs out a little, dark brown eyes looking up at his father as his longish hair flopped around playfully.

Moments like that made Zayn wonder how he deserved such a perfect child.

“I made you breakfast! Eggs with bacon. Extra crispy just how you like it. And coffee with cream instead of milk and two spoons of sugar!”, Tony explained, throwing his arms in the air to pull himself up into a sitting position while Zayn skidded up a little himself.

He knew exactly what his son was up to, but didn’t hesitate to accept a plate full of breakfast goods handed over by small and unsteady arms. There was concentration written all over Tony’s features as he balanced the weight carefully, eyes trained on the action and tongue trapped between his full lips. Zayn’s heart swelled with pride.

Much larger palms supported the wooden tablet just before it was set down on the blanket and he bid out a polite “Thank you”, before grabbing a bit of his favourite French pastry. The crumbs making the way onto his tongue felt like a gift of heaven and he had Tony watching him intently, sat back down on the bed in tailor seat fashion.

He laughed around his bite of croissant before gulping it down completely. “You are trying to bribe me into telling me where we’re going this afternoon, aren’t you?” A fresh blush blooming on a round, but handsome face told him that he took just the right guess. Tony looked a little guilty, fingers stabbing at the mattress underneath him. “Maybe…”, he answered sheepishly, dragging out the last syllable.  
“No chance, buddy!”, Zayn stated and grinned around the rim of his glass of orange juice as hands patted his knees.

“Daaaaaad, pleeeeease” – “Nope!” And with that, the discussion ended.

“Tell me about school, son. How was your week?”  
It was a little unusual for the both of them to talk about like this, since Zayn always tried to work around Tony’s school schedule, being there for him as often as he could. Helping with homework and all that stuff. But his record label had a bit of a run lately and there were plenty of album covers to design and websites to work on and while he mostly did that stuff at home, there were also bands to meet and artists to talk to. So Tony had Louis and Harry help him with tasks and sheets for his classes or he staid for the study groups after hours until Louis was ready to pick him up.

It definitely was a huge advantage that his best friend and house mate worked in the college that was situated right next to Tony’s school.

They got comfortable together, talking about different projects the school offered now that spring had started and they were nearing the final notes of the year in a fast speed. The boy was remarkable at school, but he always grew incredibly anxious the closer the final notes came. He hated not having any influence on them anymore.

“I’m not sure if I understood correctly,” Tony started, “but I think we’ll get some special occasions soon?” took hostage of the fork and stole a bit of scrambled egg from Zayn’s plate, despite the fact that he’d probably had a full breakfast moments before. Definitely a habit he’d picked up from Harry at a very early age. But he also learned a bit of cooking from him, so it perfectly evened out in the end.

“I hope I didn’t mishear it, but I think I heard some teachers talk about the fire station coming in at the end of school year…?” Zayn’s back straightened immediately, still not obvious enough for his excited son to notice and his ears perked up, full attention focused on the following words. Well, that could be interesting.

“I really hope it’s true!” Nail hit on the head. Zayn was silently clapping himself on the shoulder.

“Just imagine, baba! A real fire truck for us to look at. Closely, as well! Do you think they’d let me handle a hose winder? Or hold a jet pipe?” He had absolutely no idea what Tony was on about, probably got all this stuff from the book Louis and Harry had gotten him three weeks ago to see if that interest was nothing but a short phase- He made a mental note to look all these things up when they decided to stick with the idea of letting him volunteer for the fire station. He’s was more than up for the idea already.

“They obviously want you to learn something and inform you as much as possible, so yeah, I’m pretty – “ “- maybe I get to wear a fire helmet, dad. I can’t wait!” Tony was always really careful not to interrupt people when they talked, not to mention his own dad who had taught him all the manners he knew off, so Zayn knew he must’ve been worked up with all the excitement to let that slip so recklessly. But it was totally fine. And he wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to. That it wasn’t months away, but only hours instead. That he could have this every week if he wanted.

He wanted to see big brown eyes still for a moment, forgetting to blink for several more, but he would just have to wait a bit longer and stand the anticipation like the good big boy he was.

Tony brought back the kid in him more often than not. Which was a blessing, since he had spent his late childhood with helping his mum out with his sisters and his final teenage years with juggling a fulltime job, evening college and raising a child with the help of it’s wonderful grandmother. The kid kept him sane.

After exchanging some more stories about school and Zayn telling Tony about this cool new CD cover he drew – a crow in the middle of the transformation to an eagle while flying over the wide stretch of a desert – he excused himself to help ‘Uncle Louis’ and ‘Uncle Harry’ do the laundry and wash the dishes. Not without taking a butler’s bow though.

“Enjoy the rest of your meal, father. I shall see you in a couple hours!”

Zayn laughed out loudly, following the thudding sound of trampling feet and downed the rest of his semi-hot coffee.

*

Their house was situated a little further outside of Wolverhampton, a child-friendly but still modern neighbour-hood. And a home to a lot of untraditional families. He definitely wasn’t the only gay dad in the area and he knew of a lesbian couple three streets away from them. Tony used to go to the common school just a short bike-ride down the road, but he was way ahead of everybody else in his class. Instead of letting him skip a year (or two, cause that’s how intelligent he really was) Zayn decided to put him into a school for highly educated kids. And that’s when Tony had finally showed honest interest in school, taking every chance he got to improve himself.

The father in the little group of friends and his 9 year old lived in the ground floor of their home, while Louis and Harry took up the fairly smaller ‘love nest’ in the upper story. It had everything the couple needed though: a big bedroom, two small offices, a generous bathroom and a small kitchen. The latter was barely used since Harry had made himself familiar with the kingdom that was Zayn’s kitchen.

The stories had separate entry doors behind the general entrance, separate bells and door signs. It was more of a two-apartments-kind-of-building and it worked out so well for all of them.

A cigarette trapped between his humming lips, Zayn pulled his mobile out of his pocket just to make sure they would be in time and not way too fucking early.

“DAD! Hurry! I hate when I don’t know what’s going on!” Tony’s rare yelling voice was sounding from the car, a slightly tortured ring to it as Harry and Louis tried to keep him from falling out of the window or loosing his head over this.

Stepping out the burning stick, he set off another smug grin, face turned to the ground and then made his way to the driver’s seat.

*

“Are you actually getting out of the car or do we have to leave you behind and enjoy all the fun without you?” Louis mocked his nephew, leaning into the opened car window and took in Tony’s absolutely frozen state. The child hadn’t moved in approximately a minute since the second he had laid eyes on the building that hosted the fire station.

It was huge, to say the least. A courtyard almost bigger than the sports area of Tony’s elementary school. Three garage-sized metal gates, four ones grand enough to fit the whole of a truck or bus and one even bigger, but all painted red and furnished with different numbers. There was a tower-like built to the very left of the building.

Even Zayn was a little terrified and overwhelmed by the massiveness of the complex.

“This, son, is a fire station” he eventually explained and watched Tony snap out of his trance to give him a bit of a bitchy look, if you could say so when talking about a child. “Say what?”, Tony answered and Zayn reminded himself to have Louis spend less time with him if it ended up in him copying the adult’s behaviour like that.

Tony got out of the car though, setting his feet on the ground hesitantly as he gave himself another moment to look around.

The place was crowded with people, parents with their children. A few of them in practical uniform, but he also saw adults in formal ones, talking to people.

Some of the garage gates stood open, revealing a good look on some fire trucks, while an insanely huge one with an aerial ladder on top was positioned in the outside area for visitors to examine.

From the looks of it, tables had been set up with information material and pictures as well as modern and ancient utilities such as items to fight a fire.

Zayn felt a little lost in that strange environment, but the way Tony squeezed his hand now and tucked a little on it was enough proof of his assumption having led him in the right direction.

“Hold on, T. We gotta explain you something first”, Harry laughed loudly, carefully grabbing the hood of the boy’s leather jacket and keeping him from running all over the place. This was the moment.

“I think I know exactly what this is!”, he interrupted – again – and stared up at his uncle to let his gaze switch to Louis shortly after. He ended up looking at his dad with hopefully flickering eyes. It had been ages since Zayn had seen his son like this, out-going, voice shrill and giddy. Loud. Louder than his usual self and he wasn’t sure if he’d rather burst into bright smiles or grateful tears. Tony seemed so very carefree, like a child of his age was supposed to be.

“We thought about putting you in a fire fighter youth group, if that’s something you’d like to do!”, Louis explained, taking over for Zayn whose throat was a little too closed off to form proper sentences.

And with a squeal of various “yes!”-es, they had the kid jump into the arms of one proud Harry and an openly smiling Louis, hugging them close to his little chest before going on to his dad, burying his face in the crook of Zayn’s neck to whisper a tiny, tiny “Thank you.”

Life was more than alright right then.

*

Tony had insisted to go to the info presentation by himself, since he felt confident enough to sit in the conference room and write down the important stuff he needed to know. The schedule contained an extra 30 minutes after the event for parents to talk to the group leader about signing up the children and what it all would require and such.

Zayn had hesitated for the split on a moment, but had agreed nevertheless, glad he could catch his breath for a second. So they sat down for hot dogs and a bit of talking.

His eyes fixed on a few youngsters handling a fire hose filled with actual water on the stretch of grass a bit further away from where their seating set made up of a big table and garden benches was located, he almost missed Harry nudging his foot to get his attention.

Louis was sat sideways to his boyfriend, straddling the bench so his left leg was resting of Harry’s and his chin leaning on the rather broad shoulder, munching on his food while intense blue eyes watched Zayn with an unreadable expression.

The couple was so in synch with each other that sometimes it was a little frightening to watch for him. He didn’t know the feeling of trusting a partner so completely to be that affectionate with them in public. Cause even if it didn’t matter to the two of them – or Zayn for all he cared – the looks were there. Questioning and judging.

“So, mate, looks like we set your boy up, huh?” – “And here I thought we’d start with the dad before getting Tony out of the house!” Louis piped in with a mocking grin on his face, earning a half-hearted punch to the upper arm. He didn’t need another reminder that he was absolutely hopeless in the love-department.

“No, but I’m really glad he found something he can be really passionate about”, Harry went on, right hand grabbing Zayn’s naked forearm to squeeze affectionately, while Louis chose to nudge his cheek instead. “Well, now let’s find someone Zayn can be passionate with!”

Not even a second later, Louis had Zayn’s last bit of bun thrown at his head.

*

They hadn’t even fully entered the small, but warm room when Zayn was hit by a rich voice. A sound that couldn’t have belonged to someone much older than him and he stopped in his tracks to find the source of it.

At the head of a row of few tables, surrounded by a bunch of kids – most of them visibly older than Tony – stood a guy about as tall as him, but shoulders way broader than his own. He wore a white plain shirt, sleeves rolled up to expose massive and well-toned upper-arms, the rest of his body covered by blue uniform pants with suspenders hugging his collar bones. Feet tucked into heavy looking black safety boots.  
Scruff of facial hair lead up to a surprisingly handsome face and Zayn wasn’t sure he could really tell from the distance, but his eyes looked about the same colour as Tony’s. They disappeared though, when he laughed over something one of the kids said, forming to tight slits and exposing bright, white teeth.

A wince escaped Zayn’s throat, not overheard by his friends whose gazes he could now feel trained on him before following the path his own had been taking. Of course they found the fit fireman before Zayn could pretend as if nothing was going on at all.

“Wow”, Louis laughed a little.  
“I hope he’s single”, Harry mused, followed by a hurried but hushed “I hope he is gay!” enthused by Louis who was plastered along Zayn’s back to get a better look at the attractiveness in front of them.  
“Shut up, you twats!” he cussed and tried his best to hide that his subconscious mind was secretly wishing for the same.

His son was sat in a safe distance to the other kids, hunched over a sheet of paper and writing notes into the textbook that Harry had thoughtfully been taking with him.

Zayn had hoped he’d be in the middle of the bunch, but he should have known that easing him into a group would be a tough process for Tony, as he usually was alone for most of the stuff he did. And he never complained.

He pulled back the chair next to Tony’s, met with a surprised jump of the boy before he realized the body next to his was familiar and didn’t mean no harm. His eyes were bright with happiness. “Approved?”, Zayn asked and was met with an enthusiastic nodding and wild brown hair flying about.

“I really, really want to do this!” Tony stated, looking up at him and before he could even think about what to say in reply, an unfamiliar voice mixed in to their tiny conversation.

“And he should!”  
The young father lifted his head, eyes trying to focus on the person the comment originated from and Zayn froze for another second. It was the fit guy in the uniform.

“Come on, Tones. Let’s fill out the application sheet and invade the fire truck downstairs” he heard Louis suggest to his son, nudging Zayn forward supportively – which almost ended up in Zayn falling over his own feet.  
After a few seconds of excited chatting and audible steps, the three of them vanished in the hallway.

Zayn closed the distance between him and the uniformed guy in a hurried manner, not wanting to come over as impolite and chanced a closer look at him. Jesus.

“I’m Liam, the leader of the youth group. Nice to meet you, Mister…?” – “Zayn” he heard himself say, voice breaking around his own name and leaving him totally embarrassed by his immature behaviour. He cleared his throat and gave it another go. “Just Zayn, I’m Tony’s dad”.

He gratefully accepted the hand Liam offered him, radiating warmth and friendliness. It was marked by calloused patches of skin and big and felt nice around his rather small artist’s fingers.  
Zayn was pleased by the approving nod coming from the broad guy. He was used to people being shell-shocked when they found out that he wasn’t Tony’s older brother, but his father. Despite it being the 21st century, people were still initially uncomfortable with teenage dads. Let alone gay ones.

“Nice to meet you, Zayn!”  
“You too, Liam.”

“I was surprised by Tony’s intense interest and attention when I asked the kids what they already knew about fire working in general”, the man explained, scratching the short brown hair on the back of his head while he leaned on the wooden surface right next to Zayn’s body. He wasn’t used to be watched by a stranger like this. So open and curious. Without any obvious intention behind it. Other than to win his son over for his project.

“So was I this morning when he told me all about fire hoses and tube pipes – “ “You mean jet pipes?”, Liam interrupted him with an open, but honest laugh. Not mocking, just amused. “Yeah, that”, he murmured, cursing himself for letting his lack of knowledge slip through. He really, really, really had to inform about those things now.

“I didn’t even know about his passion for fire stations until three weeks ago. It was my best friend Louis who suggested to put him in your group”, he explained, feeling strangely comfortable around Liam, despite feeling like he made a fool out of himself every few seconds.

“I’m glad he did though.” Liam pressed his lips together for a moment and Zayn could have sworn he saw a grin vanish between the roundness of them. “It’s gonna be delightful to have your son here. I believe he can achieve great things if he decides to stick with it.”

Their eyes met, silence hanging between them after all the other kids had swarmed out of the room and Zayn felt a rush of secureness flash through his stomach. It went on like that for a bit, before his focus dropped to Liam’s lip and he shook himself out of his slightly tranquillized posture to collect himself.

“I’m sure he does. It seems like a great opportunity for him to grow really fond of something he’s passionate about”, he answered, a little weakly, biting his lip around the use of the word ‘passionate’ – again – and gave Liam a sheepish smile. There was no way he wasn’t giving away his physical attraction to the man right in this moment. He wasn’t punched in the face by now though, which was obviously a good sign. Not that he thought Liam was anything but totally straight for that matter.

“Zayn” – his name rang nicely in his ears with the way Liam pronounced it rather softly – “I’d love to hang out with you some more, but I’m afraid they need me downstairs. Make sure to come see me again before you leave with Tony and your friends, yeah?”

And with an open, smiling expression, a casual but gentle stroke to the area between Zayn’s shoulder blades and a quick back glance over his shoulder on his way out of the room, Liam was gone.

Zayn sighed, loud and desperately.

*

On their way back to their house several hours and another quick conversation later, Tony was fast asleep in the passenger’s seat while Louis and Harry had gotten comfortable for cuddles in the back.

Louis had his eyes closed, finger’s mindlessly stroking through Harry’s hair while the youngest of the three men kept casting him meaningful looks through the rear-view mirror as if reading Zayn’s loaded, but delighted thoughts.


	3. But sometimes desperation is stronger than hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Liam, whatever it is that you’re doing, please keep it up” Dark, kind eyes searched his again, holding him in a stare for what seemed like too long.  
> It looked like he was meant to ask what Zayn was referring to, but he decided to give the slightly shorter guy an intent look instead, concentration written on his sharp features, before all he did was nod like he totally understood. The young father wouldn’t have been surprised if he actually did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains the topic of implied homophia, issues with homosexually partnered families and the general role of a mother.
> 
> But there's also a good share of firefighter!Liam

Anger was a feeling Zayn had always known all too well. Especially when he was growing up and other kids wouldn’t understand why he was on his own so much. Or how he’d prefer working on his art over being out and loud with the other boys, stirring up as much trouble as they could. 

Anger carried with him through his early teenage years when he struggled in school and with finding friends. It was ever present until the day Louis walked into his life, loud and bright and annoying, just like all the others. With the one difference that Louis was willing to sit down and be quiet with him when that was all he needed for the moment. The boiling in his gut tuned down when his friend was around to pick him up and make him move and walk and run and get out of his safety zone. 

Harry was the calm to Louis storm and the wind in Zayn’s back. The perfect middle between the two of them and all they had never known they needed in their lives before he turned up. Louis was outburst and Harry was comfort. Together they were the perfect balance. For him and for each other. They shut the anger out for a while.

Tony’s birth brought the anger back. Another kind of anger. Anger at his ex-girlfriend for not wanting the baby in the first place, for deciding to give him up after his birth. And anger directed at society for looking down at Zayn like he was the one taking the wrong path. For giving the child a loving home and a chance to grow up with one of his parents and a wonderful grandmother, at least. 

He was so angry at people for judging and talking. 

When Tony’s fingers curled around his thumb for the very first time, he questioned the anger. As soon as his son took his first steps, he felt something push against it, weakly, but in a steady motion. His first words made it alright to feel anger and the first time Tony told him that he loved him chased it away completely. 

Ever since then, being angry has never been more than a moment-lasting emotion for Zayn. Something unimportant.

It was back the moment the young father stormed through the empty hallway of the school Tony visited every week day, intent on learning and being a good student. One that behaved and treated his teachers and schoolmates with respect and politeness. 

There was a rumpled letter in his hands, white knuckled fingers curling around it and it took Zayn all it had to not kick in the principal’s office door and start screaming all over the place. Harry’s presence lingering behind him in a secure distance was what held him back, even if it barely offered compensation to the memory of his son sitting at the kitchen table, red and puffy eyes, feeling ashamed and guilty and humiliated. 

He took a deep, shaky breath, eyelids pressing together, before he knocked at the door harder than necessary, bordering on violent. It only took a few seconds before he was asked to come in.

Misses Thompson was an elderly woman with wise eyes and thin wavy hair falling on her shoulders. She stood up at his entry, offering a kind, but stoic smile. She knew what drove him here and he expected her to give him an explanation to this awful situation.

“Mister Malik, thank you for coming in so quickly. Please make yourself comfortable”, she started, almost causing Zayn to laugh out loud, but he decided to go with the flow – for a start – and sat, setting Tony’s essay down in front of him. It was him demanding the instant meeting after all. 

He waited for a moment, expecting the principal to make the first step, ease them into it, but the seconds ran by and Zayn started loosing his patience and addressed the appearing elephant in the room.

“I understand that my son was asked to write an essay about his mother and the role she takes in his life. About their relationship, am I right?” His conversational partner nodded briefly, leaning forward to brace herself for the outburst of an angry father. “Instead he wrote about his – not even remotely related – uncles, which justifies the mark his teacher has given him, since he completely ignored the original topic. I’m afraid that’s how it’s done!”

Zayn tensed, biting his tongue in an effort to keep himself composed. It was anything but easy to not let the storm in his chest break to the outside.

“My son told his teacher that he grew up without a mother, has never once met her in his life, partly because of her choices and partly because of him having no desire to do so. Mister Miller told him to write about an imaginary mother instead, the expectations he would have to her”, he explained, voice straining and fighting the emotions that were his to keep safe before they could make him vulnerable.  
“So Tony, being what I call an extremely smart kid, decided to write about the people in his life who cared about him the way a mother should do. About Harry and Louis who come as close to parental roles as they can get, without giving birth to him. They were there for him since his birth and they are now. They help him do his homework and study with him when I can’t. What is so wrong about that?”

He was close, so close to snapping and going at her with all the temper his mum had given him on the his since he was little. A feature that only ever shone through when he needed to defend or fight for someone close to him. 

Narrowing her eyes, Misses Thompson entwined her fingers and straightened her back, trying to gain control over this conversation.

“His task was entirely different and if his teacher made an exception on Tony, how do you think the other parents would have reacted if they eventually found out about that?” 

And there it was, the indication that Zayn had been waiting for. Something he had been waiting for the past year Tony had been going to this school. For teachers or parents of students of this rather traditional school to give him shit about being a gay single father and raising his child in a rather unusual environment. 

“See Mister Malik, I have full understanding for your disagreement, but there is not much I can do about it other than to offer you and Tony to have Mister Miller check his essay and give him an extra note to even out the former one.”

Standing up, sliding over Tony’s paper and closing his eyes for an almost unnoticeable second, Zayn made a silent decision to leave it at that. “That’s the least you and Mister Miller can do, if you ask me. But let me tell you one more thing” Zayn stated, spine tight and tense.

“Tony doesn’t need his mother, because he decided himself that he’s perfectly fine without her. What he needs though, are adults and authorities that respect, tolerate and support him with all the positive things that he is and help him with improving his personality and knowledge and finding his place in life. That’s what his uncles, his family and I do and that’s what I was expecting his teachers to aim for as well!”

And with that, he left the office, shoulders strong and proud, but feeling small and defeated on the inside. 

*

His vision was blurred as he hurried back down the long hallway, edges flying by in black and white and not even Harry’s frame managed to offer him a shelter from the cold, massive walls closing in on him. Zayn’s heart pounded in his chest, leaving painful marks against muscles, nerves, skin and he barely registered when his friend gripped his arm gently, keeping him back.

Zayn’s gaze was empty, directed at nothing and he gritted his teeth together, ignoring Harry asking for the outcome of the meeting. He didn’t want to talk about it, because talking meant admitting. Voicing that he made a mistake and not being able to protect his son from grand schemes like this. Letting his lifestyle and past affect and hurt the person he loved more than anything he’d ever come across in his life.

Fighting the hold on him half-heartedly, Zayn let the taller lad pull him around.

“For god’s sake, Zayn. Yell at me, push me, punch me, if you need to. But don’t take this out on yourself!”, Harry demanded, trusting the older to not flee the situation and locating his big hands on Zayn’s neck instead, thumbs pushing his jaw upwards and forcing brown, glassy eyes to lock with his.

That’s when the Zayn broke, body crashing into the lean, but slightly broader one and letting the fluid come to life. Guilt and self-hate washed over him like waves of ice cold water. For the first time in almost three years, Zayn cried bitter and desperate tears of helplessness.

* 

“Pa, is it okay to be a little nervous right now?”  
Tony’s voice was small, barely audible over the dying sounds of traffic getting more distant behind and Zayn abruptly stopped biting the inside of his right cheek. He wasn’t one for nervous habits. Not at all.

They both seemed slightly unnerved as they walked from the parking lot to the entrance leading to the conference room where Tony was supposed to meet his group for the very first time and Zayn blamed the fluttering in his stomach on handing his son over to something unexpected yet again. 

In no way did that have to do with the option of seeing someone again. Which was an absolutely stupid thought that no reason in the world could even remotely justify.

If Zayn was suddenly super aware of every fire siren in town and immediately looked up when a fire truck was rushing by, then it only had to do with Tony’s new found passion. And the fact that he hadn’t stopped talking about it since the minute they had left the info event a week ago.

“No, T. It’s perfectly fine. But I have a feeling that you don’t have to be at all”, Zayn answered, hand finding Tony’s back and giving him a gentle squeeze. The boy accepted the comfort and leant into his dad’s side while staying on their way.

“Tony, Zayn!” Zayn froze, cursing himself inwardly. The plan was: Sneak up to the door, give son instructions, drop of son, drive away to do some work, pick up son two hours later. DO NOT CROSS WAYS WITH LIAM PAYNE. 

Mission failed.

Tony let out a cheerful “Liam”, before turning to the direction the familiar man was coming from. Zayn cursed his son, too. 

Liam immediately lowered his gaze, approaching Tony first, offering him a friendly hand and greeting him like an average person and not as a kid that needed to be treated as such after you got down to their eyelevel. Zayn hated when people did the latter to his son, since he thought that this child was smarter than a lot of adults his own age managed to be. 

“Hello Tony, good to see you, man. I was hoping you’d come back!” he exclaimed, coaxing a wide an honest smile out of Tony that only carried a slight shade of shyness. And that was rare and special. Which Liam couldn’t possibly know but it still made a warm, soft hand clench around Zayn’s heart with carefulness. 

Zayn shuffled from one leather booted foot to the other, completely ignored by the fireman and his own kid and he couldn’t have been any happier about it. 

“I didn’t even have to ask after you gave me the application form last week. He allowed it right away. He’s definitely the best dad in the world!” Tony ranted. Honest-to-god ranted away in front of this man who was familiar in a way that they’d met them before, but Liam was basically still a stranger. Something was happening there and he couldn’t put his finger on it. At all.

Zayn blinked quickly and was then met with a sneaky upwards-glance from the taller lad, smirking crinkles playing around his almond shaped eyes. For the split of a moment, their eyes met and Liam’s tongue ran over his bottom lip in a distracting manner.

“Yeah, I bet he is!”, Liam laughed a little and Zayn couldn’t help cackling along. What?

“Tony, you wanna go and check out your gear? The new uniforms arrived this morning and I already sorted out a kit for you – “ “Seriously?”, Tony interrupted his superior – Zayn really had to give him another talk about letting people finish before speaking up on his own – but Liam just gave another blindingly open smile and pointed to the open gate of the garage on the very left. 

“I introduced you to Andy last week, right? He’s going to help you with the fitting if you tell him your name again!”

Tony nodded and ran off. And that was new. So new that Zayn was wondering if he’d rather take it as scaring or refreshing. He hadn’t long to dwell in that silent question though, cause just then Liam was right in front of him.

“Hey”, Zayn offered, unsure and barely vocalized. He had absolutely no idea how to behave around this out-going, shining personality. 

“Good to see you again, Zayn” And before the addressed could even think about stretching out his hand, Liam had him in a loose, but definitely presentable greeting hug. 

Liam pulled back quickly though, putting on a professional appearance as quickly as the friendliness had entered their scene. “And thanks for bringing back your genius of a son. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to work with him”. 

Zayn had trust issues. Ever since high school and he had learned to look through peoples’ layers. He had met people who had tried to get through to him with being sweet and lovely to Tony. A good part of them wouldn’t have spared a second thought for the boy after they’d had gotten what they wanted. Experiences like that had taught him to be careful and not fall for the bullshit he was confronted with more often than not.

But the way Liam turned around, following his gaze focused on the lean, but graceful kid that shook foreign heads, a neon yellow helmet wobbling on his head, while this Andy guy kept standing close to him to obviously explain him a few things, had Zayn feel surprisingly good about things. About Liam in general. 

He allowed himself to have a look at the side of Liam’s face and he wondered if that joyful smile on there was what made him to this in the first place.

“Liam, whatever it is that you’re doing, please keep it up” Dark, kind eyes searched his again, holding him in a stare for what seemed like too long.  
It looked like he was meant to ask what Zayn was referring to, but he decided to give the slightly shorter guy an intent look instead, concentration written on his sharp features, before all he did was nod like he totally understood. The young father wouldn’t have been surprised if he actually did.

He kept watching him afterwards though and than tilted his head a little. “Are you okay? You’re looking incredibly tired.”  
Zayn was about to choke on his own spit. This guy would have been scary as fuck if he wasn’t so endearing and polite.

He sighed, not caring that it probably made him come along as incredibly pathetic.  
“Been a tough week, wish I could just go home and crash for an hour…” Liam’s ears seemed to pipe up at that if Zayn wasn’t absolutely betrayed by his visual senses and he inwardly prepared himself for something unexpected.

“Why don’t you go do that then? I’m off after this and we’re actually from around the same neighbourhood.”

And now it was his turn to give his conversational partner a questioning look. Was he just wanting to be helpful or could Liam Payne really be such a hopeless flirt? Zayn suspected the first option, cause guys like that couldn’t be anything but straight. He wasn’t that lucky. Never in a million years.

“Thanks for the offer, mate, but I actually have stuff to do around here and as nice as you seem to be – “ Once again Liam’s face send a smile made of butterflies and candy “ – you are still pretty much a stranger and I’m a mother hen being obsessively protective about her son!”, he stated trying to be dead serious but failed when he felt a grin spreading on his high cheekbones.

“Well…” A finger playfully nudged his chin “It was worth the try”.  
Before Zayn could attempt to swat away Liam’s hand, the handsome lad was already jogging over to his little fire fighters, finally intent on doing some work.

But not without another glance over his broad shoulder. “See you in two hours, Zayn Malik!”

*

When both of the Malik’s got in to their home residence that evening, a brand new picture of Tony in his uniform was sitting in his phone memory.

As well as Liam’s mobile number. For emergencies of course.


	4. Spots and headlights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nevertheless, Zayn found himself not wanting to let go of this moment shared between the two of them, so he quickly thought of something to keep the words flowing. “How come, though, that a young, obviously independent guy like you, already being too engaged in his job, decides to offer his knowledge to kids and teens in his free time?” This was something he’d wondered from the second he had heard about Liam Payne, the leader of the youth group, and it’s also been a subject he’d talked about with Louis and Harry. 
> 
> Liam leaned back a little, hands keeping to himself again, but never breaking the contact his leg made with the other man, and relaxed his face into a bit of a satisfied expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be much longer, but I decided to split the original chapter since THIS end felt too important to add anything else afterwards.
> 
> So you can definitely expect a quicker update this time, promise!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me!

Sunday was lads night. That usually meant all the significant boys (or rather men) in Tony’s life came together to hang out and he was allowed to choose what they would do all day long. Alongside Harry and Louis, the group also held Niall, who was a bit of Tony’s secret favourite ‘uncle’. The kid never talked about it, but Zayn had a feeling that he was looking up to the way the Irishman behaved around people. How he’d just say the right things and equally not care if he didn’t.

Zayn had always been a firm believer of Tony’s shyness not being ever so present by choice.

They had meant to go climbing in an outdoor park, but the weather didn't play along with them, pouring down since the minute the 9-year-old had been rolling out of bed with his nose stuffed up a little. So they decided on Tony’s Plan B and made Niall bring the Wii.

It was Raving Rabbits for 6 hours straight. Including homemade pizza, lemonade and tons of ice cream.

About an hour left to bedtime for the youngest in their midst, Tony gave in to his heavy eyelids and announced he’d be going to sleep instead of trying to stay awake and dozing off every few minutes. Hugs and ‘thank you for a great day’s were in order and Niall waited for the click of Harry’s and Louis’ front door before he jumped up to get the beers out of the fridge.

Happily accepting one while Louis was switching on the TV to some random Sunday evening movie, Zayn thanked whoever god made his son be so independent and mature for not relying on his dad to put him to bed anymore. Tony knew the process and he’d follow through each of it's steps like the responsible and kind young man he was.

His body was nearly fused into the cushions, shoulder touching Niall’s chest as the blonde let him lean into his side and his left leg was tangled with Harry’s. Louis’ hand hidden under Harry’s shirt, probably drawing patterns of some kind, the oldest of them all nibbled on his boyfriend’s jaw in a decent way. The air around them was familiar and nice; Zayn breathed from those perfect moments with his friends.

The couple had drifted of to some sort of light sleep – the week was packed with work and exhaustion for all of them – when Niall pulled Zayn a bit closer to him and took the empty bottle out of his loose grip. There was some uncommon breeze of seriousness to the posture the studio musician took in as he addressed him.

“Tony told me about his essay… the one about his mum?”

Zayn froze. He had been trying to get his son to talk about this, let him in and know what his feelings about this awful happening were, but the boy had said it was fine and insisted, that Zayn’d have another look over the essay about Louis and Harry to make sure he’d get the best result possible to even out the terrible one from before.

He tried not to feel hurt by Tony rather turning to Niall for this and simply nodded in answer.

“He obviously didn’t want to talk to you about this, because he thought you’d hurt about the topic. Your son is bloody smart, he noticed that she doesn’t mean good news to you”, Niall exclaimed, noticing his friend’s reaction and curling a hand around his bony shoulder joint.

“Did he say he wanted to see her? Or that he felt like I was holding him back?”, he tried to coax something out of Niall, voice thin and discomfort stabbing tiny knives into the flesh between his ribs. He could barely resist the urge to hide his face in Niall’s shirt.

“Come on, Zayn. It’s Tony we’re talking about here. Of course he didn’t! And he wouldn’t think that in the least. Have a little faith in him!” A chubby, but firm hand gripped Zayn’s right, fingers entwining with his own as a sign of security and support.

Niall gave some pressure on the contact, before speaking up again, gaze directed to the TV. “He asked me if it was wrong for him to not wanting to know her and feeling like she was nothing but a stranger he had never met before.”  
The initial reaction that ran through Zayn’s system was pain, sending the signal to produce tears to his brain. He swallowed them down.

“What did you say to him?” Niall chuckled, left arm manhandling Zayn onto him to have him in a vice grip, a lovely one though, and dug his nose into raven black hair.

“I told him he was a perfect little person and then the same I told you when we first had this conversation: That Perrie could never be as good to him as you are, or Harry and Louis. That he didn’t have to feel like he owed her since she never made the effort to get to know him. And he understood it wasn’t his fault; that it didn’t mean something was wrong with him or he wasn’t worth her care.”

Inhaling deeply, the scent of Pizza and general food scents filling his nostrils, Zayn’s body relaxed into the younger one’s and before he could retort something, he felt a sudden movement from two separate – or maybe not that separate – bodies crawl towards him from the other end of the couch. Harry plastered himself against the bundle of limbs while Louis followed suit and planted his open palm to Zayn’s neck.

Nothing made him feel more okay and safe than this managed to do. He could deal with the guilt later.

*

Eyes were pinned past him, all focused on the raw outline of an idea he had caught in a digital way to project to the head wall of the conference room.

The meeting had come along alright thus far, the band surprised by his innovative and progressive ideas on how to illustrate their debut album instead of just putting high quality pictures in there. Rock or heavy hardcore music like they created usually wasn’t something Zayn could relate to, but he had the gift of getting into the mood of the songs anyway; building images in his head.

This band didn’t need their attractive faces to draw and attach people to their work, even though the artist had to admit that it would make working with them a lot more pleasurable.

Flames and biting colours dominated the entirety of his idea. A phoenix breaking his spine on the front cover was the main focus to catch the costumer’s eye. Grimaces and war paint telling the story running a red line throughout the track list.

His part was done – he still couldn’t understand the tinge of heat coiling through his stomach when he looked closely at what his hands had created without a digital brush this time – and now he waited on his clients to decide if this was what they wanted.

After a shortage of ten minutes waiting time, the deal was sealed, the musicians expressed their true amazement of his ability to transform their words into pictures and the contract details were laid out.

He went over the final changes and explicit details of the artwork with them, before the youngsters all gave him a grateful hug, indicating the early stage of their career. They then flooded out of the room, followed by their managers Luke and Josh who’d Zayn had known from working at the label and management company for two years now. They were the type of handlers you’d kill to work with. Accepting, open-minded, not only focused on raw profit and caring about their artists.

Ending up here had been Harry’s doing. The curly haired man had done his internship as an A&R manager at the company, impressing his bosses so quickly that he got a well-paid fulltime job only eight months into his practice year. When the former artwork designer was shipped off to work for the label’s headquarters in Los Angeles, Harry immediately suggested Zayn for the job, who hadn’t even managed to finish his second year of art at the university.

It was pure luck he got the job – even if Harry said it was his endless talent, but the older one wouldn’t have that – and the opportunity to take Tony with him into an environment that was definitely more child friendly than Bradford provided to be.

“It’s truly impressive how you just zone out when you work without noticing what’s happening around you”, an unfamiliar voice tore him out of his thoughts and he had trouble not dropping the tablet in his hands from the surprising shock. He was rewarded with a genuine laugh, voice deep and rusty. Probably from too many cigarettes and alcohol.

Zayn spun around, trying to locate the body to the voice and seconds later he recognized the band’s bassist, Shane if he remembered correctly, leaning against the door frame in a bit of a stunning manner.

He was tall, lean, bordering on skinny and his hipbones were prominent, but nothing short to gorgeous. Tan skin hosted a lot of ink on his arms and neck, supported by stark veins sticking out and short, dark hair being ruffled out in a purposeful way. Eyes almost black, he tried catching Zayn’s gaze.

He wasn’t exaggerating when he said the group was made of a bunch of attractive people, all dressed in black.

“Maybe I should get rid of this habit, might attract serial killers to attack and bring me down when I don’t pay attention”, Zayn mumbled, not knowing what to make of Shane’s attempt to reach him. The supposedly younger man sat down on the table top next to him, never stopping to outline Zayn’s frame. From years of being hit on, he suddenly knew what he had to expect.

“I’m not a man of excuses or big words, so I’ll just get straight to it”, he heard him explain, a crooked but definitely unique smile lifting his bony cheek. Shane was gorgeous, even if Zayn made the effort to go into a bit of a defensive position, arms crossed in front of his chest.  
He listened intently. “We’ll be back in town in two and a half weeks and I would like to take you out for dinner, if you’d have me?” Zayn smiled, being proven right and bathing in the glory of the awareness of making Louis’ matchmaker job a lot easier this month.

“I’m usually more of the drink and do kind of guy, just so you know I am serious on this one!”, Shane continued and Zayn believed to see some genuine interest in his sharp edges, coming along with a very, very hidden tad of shyness and discomfort.

He nodded, head tilting to the side with a smirk before handing him his business card with his mobile number on it. The private one had to be deserved first.

But nevertheless, he had a date.

*

With Tony’s untameable excitement for going back to the fire station right after they left when the prior youth group practice was over, the week went by quickly until Thursday came around again.

Zayn was proud to say he hadn’t even mentioned Liam to either Louis or Harry once and they both seemed busy enough with themselves not to express their curiosity for the stunning man towards him. They didn’t have to know about his flirty approaches and the way Zayn still denied that those even were something like that.

From experience of the past week, the young father had decided not to make a trip to the city again. It had taken him more than thirty minutes to hunt down a parking lot and the way back home at this hour took at least the same amount of time.  
Instead, he sat down on the wooden benches at the entrance of the fire station yard to do some sketches for a new project that was due when he went to London for a few days. Business purposes.

Low guitar riffs and a characteristic voice had been lulling him in, away from the clinking noises of metal on solid ground as the kids carried the fire station’s equipment around, his fingers blending shades of brown and green into each other, as he felt a light dip of the bench giving away under the addition of some new weight. Despite hoping for another outcome, he knew that it would be none other than Liam searching his company.

Pressing his lids shut for the break of a second, collecting himself and pulling the buds out of his ears, he turned his body towards the left, where Liam was sitting close – way too close! – curiously peeking at his drawing.

“Bit nosy, aren’t we?”, Zayn started out and couldn’t help but notice how Liam’s knee was unconsciously digging into his thigh. The words were underlined with fondness. Totally without his permission, of course.

Liam looked up, cheeks a bit rosy and lips being spread into an open smile. Zayn did so not notice how his tongue pressed against his teeth and the chocolate shade almost vanishing behind the slits his eyes build over the amused reaction.

“I’m usually much politer than that, but somehow you make me go all reckless, Zayn Malik!”, he joked, crunching up his nose and shimmying his shoulders to emphasize his words, causing the black haired to laugh out loud and slap his chest lightly. The young fireman was only in his uniform trousers and a white shirt again, sleeves rolled up to expose biceps to faint over.

“No, but seriously, Liam, I’m sure you got work to do instead of keeping me from continuing mine”, he mused, turning a bit more so that his left leg almost overlapped with Liam’s while leaning his cheek onto his palm, elbow digging into the wooden surface. Despite knowing about possible consequences in the form of short breaths or dreamy gazes, Zayn allowed himself to lock eyes with the man opposite him.

And maybe this was the first time he really saw Liam. He did have a rather round face, but his jaw was edgy and his cheekbones an indicator for a good, strong bone structure. Thick brows didn’t help to take away the darkness from the shadows underneath his eyes, almost overpowering the soft whisper of lashes fluttering under his blinking motion.  
He was stunning in all possible ways.

Liam’s eyes narrowed for a second, nodding to the huge window of the meeting room where it was easy to make out Andy, the co-leader of the youth group and the group of kids who had moved on to the theoretical part of today's practice.. “Andy told me to fuck off and try to get you into a proper talk since we both saw you sitting over here. And it’s not like I’m getting paid for this!” Zayn was rewarded with a smirk and another nudge of a strong leg against his. The bit of confidence he still had left crumpled and hid in the grass underneath their table. It was impossible for him to find a good comeback to Liam’s open way of getting him out of his comfort zone.

Fingers gently stroked the end of the paper the artist had been pouring his inspiration onto and Zayn felt something like awe oozing from the other man’s presence. “So you draw for a living?” – “Kind of. I’m the head of the artwork department of SYCO records here in Wolvo”, he explained, trying to make it sound casual and not like this was a position rewarded with a bit of prestige in the music industry and therefore a great amount of money.

“Jesus, Zayn!” Liam seemed shocked and impressed, spine straightening as he stared at him in awe. “This is pretty much the best job around here – “ Another bright chuckle shook Zayn’s body. “Naah, I think that’s Harry. He’s the A&R for the rock and indie department. A lot of travelling and fancy events”, he explained and cringed inwardly. As if Liam would care about what his friends did or didn’t.  
Or maybe he did, because the short haired guy suddenly seemed overly engaged in the conversation. “And Louis is in the drama department of the university, right? My… an old friend of mine took some sort of lessons off him. I knew he looked familiar when I first met you guys.”

Liam’s warm, genuine smile was different from the confident, flirty one. It was secure and also dangerous, seeing as Zayn played with the thought of getting used to it. He also ignored the slippery slope in Liam’s wording and the self-correction coming with it. He just nodded, returning the mimic in an equally friendly way.

“No, but really, Zayn. Give yourself some credit. I absolutely envy you for your job position and this over here – “ He pointed at the raw sketch the young father had done in the last 40 minutes “ – tells me that you absolutely deserve to have it!”

Trying to force away the heavy awareness of Liam’s hand on his forearm, he sighed, gaze wandering from Liam’s soothing brown eyes to his plush lips and back before he could be caught and swallowed down all the praise knocking on the walls of his brain. How he thought it was absolutely admirable that Liam spent his life dedicated to people’s safety. How he’d probably saved a few lives already, as well as several cats or dogs or trees or whatever firemen did for a living. How it was the best thing in the entire world that he gave his son – and other kids – the opportunity to do just the same. He urged to let Liam know that he thought he was the one others should be envious of, not him.

“Thanks, I guess”, was what he told him instead, tapping his forefinger against the back of Liam’s hand, secretly hoping to make him back away, cause the touch felt too warm, too heavy, burning a pattern into his skin.

Nevertheless, Zayn found himself not wanting to let go of this moment shared between the two of them, so he quickly thought of something to keep the words flowing. “How come, though, that a young, obviously independent guy like you, already being too engaged in his job, decides to offer his knowledge to kids and teens in his free time?” This was something he’d wondered from the second he had heard about Liam Payne, the leader of the youth group, and it’s also been a subject he’d talked about with Louis and Harry.

Liam leaned back a little, hands keeping to himself again, but never breaking the contact his leg made with the other man, and relaxed his face into a satisfied expression.

“I was a bit of a loner growing up. I didn’t have many friends besides Andy. Bullying was a big part of my childhood, so I started boxing to grow confidence and my dad would take me with him when there were fires or practices close to where we lived, so I could see all the fire fighters work. He knew I wanted to do something big. Something involved with helping people, change their lives a little. It made me feel so much better about myself, hopeful even…” Liam held in for a second and Zayn thought he could see a blush creep onto his cheeks, clearly not used to revealing so much of himself – and maybe it was even more unconscious than on purpose.

He cleared his throat, then continued. “I wanted to offer this kind of comfort to kids who loved the subject of fire fighting just as much as I did when I was their age”. His little speech ended on a bit of a low, quiet tone. Zayn stored it away in the back of his mind; it felt too important not to.

Something changed in him right then, when he followed the line of Liam’s neck as his head lulled to the side a little, hiding what he thought was some kind of embarrassment. It felt like something gave away and pushed him closer to Liam, causing him to fit his entire leg against the more muscular one. His left shoulder leaned against Liam’s, forearm overlapping with his as his fingers tapped on the wood next to the calloused looking thumb. He carefully avoided the other man’s gaze.

“Tony is usually a very quiet kid. His teachers keep telling me he barely talks to other kids in school, never participates in the groups on the school yard. When they run around, he prefers sitting on a bench and reading his book. Or he’s off to the library and music room, practicing on the guitar what his uncle Niall taught him”. There’s a squeeze around his wrist and Zayn suddenly realizes how small his voice sounds and how there’s obvious concern in his voice. But that wasn’t what he was going for.

“He never complains, he’s never impolite, he doesn’t do demands. He’s the most mature kid you’ll ever meet.” He felt more than saw the acknowledging nod Liam gives.

“Suddenly he’s interrupting adults because he’s excited when talking about this. There are so many new names of his ‘friends now’ for me to learn and remember and he asked me if he can spend time with Nathan after school because they found out that they are going to the same school and just met last week. And it’s only been one time, Liam. My son changed in the matter of 7 days and he’s finally being a real child. Full of joy and at least on the way to getting reckless and this is all your fault, Liam Payne, but it’s fucking great – “ Zayn stopped himself when he started choking and swallowing his own words. He felt torn open and raw and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d opened up to what was practically a stranger to him.

But Liam didn’t feel foreign. Familiarity was lulling him in, comforting him. Just as much as the arm snaking around his shoulder, fingers curling in the sleeve of his shirt. He couldn’t grasp what was happening, but he let it.

After what felt like minutes passing by, Liam brought some distance between him and Zayn. It was neither relieving nor worrying to feel the space parting the two of them.

He didn’t hear it from the beautiful man trying to get back control over himself, but he thought that, maybe, Liam was grateful for this little confession coming from him.

Their eyes met and held onto each other for a bit longer.

“I should really be going back… I’ll see you next week?” he asked and there was nothing left of the cheekiness and self-confidence Zayn had seen in their former get-togethers. “I’m afraid not. I’ll be in London for the majority of the next two weeks. Louis will bring Tony over”. Liam nodded, hands slipping in to his pockets and shoulders growing tense under his hunched posture. The free, open space surrounding them earlier was now loaded with something he couldn’t put his finger on. He just wanted to grip Liam’s wrist and make the frown go away.

“Alright. Whenever then, yeah? Take care.”

Before Zayn could return anything, Liam was already too far away, jogging off and vanishing in the building.

 

There was a crinkle in the paper holding the drawing where Liam’s fingers had carefully caressed the material just moments ago.

**Author's Note:**

> So, thanks for making it through the prologue without giving up early on!
> 
> If you want to contact me directly, my tumblr is dieinthewinter.tumblr.com


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